To a new beginning :)

Hello Everyone! I am Aaron Maben. Ever since I was a kid I always wished to speak on a greater platform but I was kind of always nervous and had a bit of stage fear....Uhh maybe a lot actually. So I finally thought maybe a blog space would be a better place to talk about anything or any part of my life. This is probably the most informal blog page you will find, so you will have to definitely excuse me if I miss out on a grammar. So.....I wanna tell you about my career background. Currently its been nearly eight months since I've completed my Engineering classes and three months since I got my result of my backlog paper which I finally cleared it. My backlog was not due to any disinterest in Engineering. I was a lot motivated and passionate about doing engineering after my 12th. It was my indecisive behavior that led to my downgrade in engineering. Initially I joined in for Mechanical engineering which after a year I thought maybe I made a wrong decision and my interest was always in Electronics subject as I was into it since my high school. I still remember the project that my classmate and I shared with each other in my last year of high school which was a Gas Detection System using Arduino, For which we even got a first prize and a medal. I was so happy back then. Still miss my School Days. After high school I went to St Aloysius Pre University to pursue my 11th and 12th, where I took Electronics as my subject. But honestly I never enjoyed the classes nor the peers. I was rarely interested to listen to my lecturer telling about the diodes and semiconductors. There were other subjects too like physics and chemistry but I rather spent dreaming looking out of the window, But how can I forget about the labs. That's the place I enjoyed a lot cause we were practically allowed to touch those rather than listen to that guy (Chemistry Sir) nag theory all day. I've never made any friends even in my 12th too, Not because I didn't want to, I tried a lot but people used to just keep me aside or probably treated as a leftover even if we had to make a group for any activities. My granny had also got sick during this time due to which we had to shift for a while to my granny's home, where I ended up spending almost two years there. I almost felt depressed during my 12th, Thinking what's going on with my life, No friends, looking at my sick granny at home and here comes the biggest nightmare or maybe a break from everything, 'The Lockdown' due to Covid. After this moment passed, I applied for my Engineering where I had some of the sick as well as the best memories. A year later of joining in Mechanical Engineering, One night I thought a lot and started crying because I regretted my decision of going to this field and I told my Mum that I would change it to Electronics as it was possible to change after first year. Now here comes the worst mistake or maybe destiny. I joined to Electronics and Communications just a month before the Semester Exam. I had no friends that I could ask with regarding the syllabus or anything and I was kind of an introvert kid since childhood, So I used to figure out on my own. Exams began, I don't know anything what's taught in the class as I attended the classes just before exam. I studied hard whole night without sleep and water, Some of the biggest mistakes of my life. Thought I would clear, But failed in three. I was more depressed and the next semester I tried to clear the present as well as the three failed subjects. This was one more indecision as I should have planned before the ones I wanted to clear rather than study everything in desperation of clearing. This time it went worst, It was a Mathematics paper which I had prepared the previous night without sleeping. It was half way through the paper that I started sweating a lot in my palms all of a sudden and I started becoming restless which I later came to know as what is called as 'Panic Attack' and the most sad thing was the lecturer who was the invigilator on that exam hall didn't even give me a water to drink instead she told me to stop my drama that I was doing. Now this made me more anxious, I packed my stationaries and ran away from my exam hall. Later I ended up missing three more papers due to my anxiety from where this all started. From that day till today I feel my mind is awake during sleep or am asleep when am awake. But I try to bring out the best of me by improving my habits, lifestyle etc. I try to meditate everyday which has become an essential part of my life. I developed an interest in reading books which I mostly sucked at. So after all change is necessary cause nothing stays constant. This is my first blog post and I am gonna finish this blog here. I hope to see you type down or leave a message about your story too and finally I would thank you for being with me (reading) till the end. I hope to catch you next week as I will be posting my blogs every weekend. See you in my next story ;)